Gut Check

There are many events during the past six months that has bugged me about my life goals and the extended time I have at home recuperating sort of crystallised them all for me. For some years now, I have been floating around without any BIG goal other than to get my degree, to finish up whatever is on my work plate right then, and to barely survive until next payday. I got myself into a rat race with full blinders on and it’s frustrating when you slow down and see for yourself that you’re nowhere near where you initially wanted to be.

Back in the day when I entered Engineering School, I’ve always wanted to work for just a few years after graduation, work on my graduate degree then manage a business if not start my own. I’ve always believed that I can make that a reality until things slowly fell apart. I really don’t know when it’s started but I lost sight of my goals. The how and why is no longer important but it’s really sad and humbling to look back and accept that I just screwed up.

It took me a while to get my bearings back and even then, I really didn’t make any radical changes in how I approach things. I’ve always been good in confunding myself. I always tell myself that everything is alright and being blessed with very supportive people around me, I failed to notice where reality stops and make-believe starts.

Given all that, where do I want to go. On top of my head are these eight things:

    1. I want to work for a technology firm while providing amply for my family and helping my mother get out of debt.
    2. I want to marry and have kids in the near future in a safe and stable environment.
    3. I want myself to be healthy as well as the people around me.
    4. I want an advanced degree in Business or IT.
    5. I want to run successful businesses well into retirement.
    6. I want to help other people with their lives.
    7. I want to support Open Source as much as I can.
    8. And all the while, I want to live life and have fun.

      Gut check – I’m just settling for three and I’m even doing poorly at those.

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